Cheeky BeachesLet’s talk about erections. Perhaps not the most glamourous of subjects, perhaps not the easiest or most comfortable to discuss. But they happen. Erections are a part of a man’s life and hopefully they still occur from time to time.
However, while most of the time they aren’t a nuisance, there are some situations where they cannot be hidden or disguised and would be embarrassing to oneself should you be seen sporting a third leg rising from your groin.
We men have probably all experienced a breeze boner, but for those who are unsure of the term, allow me to explain. Imagine it is a hot night in the middle of summer and you are feeling uncomfortable in your bed. To begin with, you kick off the covers to hopefully get some air to your body. Soon enough though, you realise this isn’t enough and off come your night clothes, be they pyjama bottoms or boxer shorts. Laying there in the nude, you eventually resort to getting out of bed to open a window.
Returning to bed you can feel a gentle breeze swathe your body. It is cooling and refreshing and as you feel the air move over you, it feels a little titillating. You feel a subtle tingling sensation on your arms, legs and chest. And then you feel something that you are definitely not used to. The breeze is felt moving around your penis. Before you know it, you have an erection to be proud of and one that could hold a tent up.
While in the comfort and seclusion of your bedroom, this isn’t a problem and may even be enjoyable and something you may want to repeat. But on a public naturist beach, surrounded by strangers and not wanting to draw attention to yourself, breeze boners can be more of an embarrassment.
Erections are generally not for flaunting on naturist beaches. A firm penis is something to be frowned upon because it usually means it’s owner has been thinking about things he probably shouldn’t be while surrounded by his fellow nude sunbathers.
However, erections do happen to us all and they are not always the result of lewd thoughts or actions. And so if you feel the breeze circulating your nether region and you find yourself with a growing penis, it is best to turn over and lay on your stomach for a while.
Rolling over is the simplest and easiest solution and will avoid any undue attention from your neighbours. It isn’t the most confortable of positions but then it really isn’t meant to be. The sooner your erection fades the better.
An alternative is to cover yourself, but as we all know from looking down the bedsheets in the morning, a towel may not be sufficient in disguising your situation.
A technique taught to me during sex education classes at school was to think of very boring things. Counting sheep, doing complicated arithmetic or muttering a nursery rhyme to yourself can help qwell any stiffness down below. Some men have said that tensing your thighs also helps as it draws blood away from your groin, thus relieving you of any rigidity you might be experiencing.
If you happen to be close to the water then a quick dip in the sea can also help, but it should be noted the only way to get from your current position to the cover of the ocean is by standing and walking. Like a cold shower though, the sea will help dampen your erection and you’ll soon be safe to return to the beach.
What you shouldn’t do though, no matter how proud you might be of your body’s ability to draw blood into a certain area, is shout it out for all to hear. Please don’t stand and show off your achievement. Please don’t speak loudly to your partner of what your penis has managed to execute. Don’t flaunt your erection.
Be cool, be discreet and wait for it to pass.
